Short introduction
I was widowed at 40, 3 weeks before my 41st birthday, 4 months and 4 days before my love would have turned 50. He died on a Wednesday, my birthday this year fell on a Wednesday and his (50th) birthday falls on a Wednesday. (I just checked and Brian was born on a Wednesday) Needless to say Wednesdays are not my favourite days. We have no children, except our 2 little furkids who, for now, keep me going.
On the 10th of March 2009 I went into hospital for minor surgery, my beloved Brian sat by my side the whole day, he brought me home, looked after me, mopped my brow and rubbed my back. On the 11th of March he went to work and never came home. He died in a car accident (you will note I never say killed in a car accident, one day I may be able to unpack that). The wheel of his car came off, he lost control and collided with a concrete pillar. Had his wheel come of 1 metre either side of that, he would still be alive today.
This blog is a little bit of therapy for myself and also a way to let those that care know how I am doing. I am really not doing well at returning calls, sending e-mails or letting people know how I am doing.
I have never blogged before, so who knows where this will take me. I am going to start my blog with some things that I have written or posted elsewhere before, so if you have seen them before, please just scroll on by.
Oh, and the name Beanz of Toast, well, our nickname for each other was Bean and as a couple we soon became Beanz and when things were not going well we would often say "Shit on toast" so it really seems an appropriate name for this blog.
On the 10th of March 2009 I went into hospital for minor surgery, my beloved Brian sat by my side the whole day, he brought me home, looked after me, mopped my brow and rubbed my back. On the 11th of March he went to work and never came home. He died in a car accident (you will note I never say killed in a car accident, one day I may be able to unpack that). The wheel of his car came off, he lost control and collided with a concrete pillar. Had his wheel come of 1 metre either side of that, he would still be alive today.
This blog is a little bit of therapy for myself and also a way to let those that care know how I am doing. I am really not doing well at returning calls, sending e-mails or letting people know how I am doing.
I have never blogged before, so who knows where this will take me. I am going to start my blog with some things that I have written or posted elsewhere before, so if you have seen them before, please just scroll on by.
Oh, and the name Beanz of Toast, well, our nickname for each other was Bean and as a couple we soon became Beanz and when things were not going well we would often say "Shit on toast" so it really seems an appropriate name for this blog.
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